Motherhood is both magical AND mentally exhausting (IYKYK). One minute, a mom is swept up in baby snuggles, and the next she's texting her teenager,
“What time will you be home?” Each phase of motherhood brings new joys and fresh ways to question one's sanity.
When Hormones Go Wild
About 85% of new moms experience some kind of mood disturbance after birth (i). They're definitely not alone if they find themselves sobbing over diaper commercials. Between healing after giving birth and hormones throwing a party in their bodies, mothers might experience:
- Baby blues: Think random crying while folding tiny socks (affects 50-85% of women) (ii)
- Postpartum anxiety: When checking if the baby's breathing turns into an hourly ritual
- Postpartum depression: When the fog doesn't lift, and even showering feels impossible
These mental health conditions can affect mothers from all backgrounds, cultures, and socioeconomic levels (iii). If you don't feel like yourself, please seek help. If you're thinking of harming yourself or your baby,
call or text 988 immediately.
New Anxieties, Same Mom-Brain
As your baby becomes a toddler and then a school-aged child, your worries transform but rarely diminish. This new phase brings both freedom and new concerns:
- Safety fears: That first solo bike ride might as well be a child's first solo trip to Europe
- School stress: "Is my child behind in reading?" becomes the 3 AM thought companion
- Friendship drama: Nothing prepares a mother for the heartbreak of her kid sitting alone at lunch
- Screen time battles: "But Jayden's mom lets him play Fortnite!" (the eternal struggle)
- Parenting comparison: Instagram makes mothers think other moms are baking organic muffins while teaching their kids Mandarin
Many mothers and parents struggle with confidence in their parenting decisions. The constant internal questioning about whether you're being too strict or too permissive, and how your choices compare to other parents, can lead to common feelings of anxiety and stress.
The key is being aware of when a little worrying gets to a lot of worrying. Many times, moms are often a lot harder on themselves because of pressures from family, friends, and even social media. It’s important to pause and reflect on the progress, not the perfection.
Send Help, Please
Just when parents think they have this parenting thing figured out, puberty enters the chat.
- The letting go phase: Trying not to text teens every 5 minutes when they're out with friends
- Conversation attempts: "How was school?" "Fine." (That's what passes for dialogue now)
- Friend group anxiety: Are they hanging with the right crowd or the "experimenting with vapes behind the mall" crowd?
- Future worries: University applications bring a whole new level of maternal stress sweats
Instead of midnight feedings, mothers might wait up to hear the front door open at curfew, praying their teens are safe. Meanwhile, their sweet children, who once thought mom was the sun and the moon, now think she's clueless about everything.
When to Wave the Flag
It's totally normal for mothers to worry about their kids (it's in the job description), but if anxiety, stress or fears are taking over life, it’s time to seek help.
In every mom’s toolkit, we recommend:
- Finding a mom tribe - sometimes just hearing "my kid does that too" is therapeutic.
- Talking to your family doctor - they've heard it ALL before (don’t have a family doctor?
We can help).
- Accessing free mental health support –
we have trained therapists who can help you learn strategies to cope with the intense feelings that sometimes come with being a mom (plus, we have support in multiple languages).
Remember, taking care of yourself isn't selfish - it's like putting on your own oxygen mask first. Caring for your mental health is an essential part of being the parent you want to be.
References:
(i) Massachusetts General Hospital | Harvard Medical School (n.d.). Postpartum Psychiatric Disorders. MGH Center for Women's Mental Health. https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics-2/postpartum-psychiatric-disorders-2/
(ii) IBID
(iii) Massachusetts General Hospital | Harvard Medical School (n.d.). Postpartum Psychiatric Disorders. MGH Center for Women's Mental Health. https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics-2/postpartum-psychiatric-disorders-2/
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The Ontario Structured Psychotherapy (OSP) program offers free, evidence-based, cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) to adults (18+) in Ontario who are experiencing depression or anxiety-related concerns. CarePoint Health leads and coordinates access for Ontarians to the free OSP program for the regions of Brampton, Halton, Mississauga, and South Etobicoke. In collaboration with our partners, we deliver mental health services and improve access to care.
